Chillies and a Rant

A chilli loving Brit here.  There's some knowledge too, smaller chillies of similar shape are generally hotter than their larger counterparts (accidentally swapping piri piri for birds eye once helped confirm this rather emphatically).  Slightly crinkly ones can mean scary naga (ghost - tried them) or Carolina reapers (good name, reaper connotates pain or worse).  Scotch bonnets and habaneros look similar, are hot but taste different, love the fruitiness of a scotch bonnet whereas habanero has more citrus flavours.  All handy 'rules of thumb' in the world of chilli and I hope it is apparent that dentifying fresh chillies isn't quite an exact science.

Recently, I bought these:

Hot and not?  How does this work? What's the point?  Surely you wish to know what you are getting yourself (and others) into?  

Indian Desserts, my View

Forgive me because I love the cuisine but Indian deserts went badly wrong.  Too much sugar, not just a little too much, a lot too much.  Add grease then deep fry, is there a hope that this will help?  Nope, instead  let's create some slippery textures for extra fun..  ..euww.

Here are the worst offenders in my view:

1, Gulab jamun  a popular Indian sweet made from milk solids traditionally. khoya or mawa is the hindi term.  In brief it is deep fried milky dough balls in rose flavoured ultra sweet syrup.  There's more of the table in view than the dessert.  This is for a good reason, table or sweet goop?  Difficult choice.

                 

About scones

The Great British Scone Schism and Why We’re About to Make It Worse 🇬🇧🔥

There are polite British debates and then there’s the Cream Tea War.

This is not a culinary preference. This is sanity against asylum material.

A ketchup story

I will begin by ruining a perfectly good dinner-table staple.  Ketchup..was not born in America and it certainly wasn’t born red. It immigrated there much later (don't tell Trump), wearing a tomato-red passport someone forged in the 19th century.   If you want to find its cradle, you have to stand on a creaking wooden pier somewhere on the South China Sea (definitely don't tell this to  Trump) and breathe in the mingled perfume of tar, salt, and fermenting fish.

Ok plastic wasn't around yet but you get the idea.

The story of mayonnaise

 The Remarkable Journey of Mayonnaise — From Mahón to Tokyo to the Belgian Frituur

Few condiments have conquered the world as silently and universally as mayonnaise. Today it’s in burgers, sushi, tapas and Michelin-level sauces — yet its birth was an accident of war.

Tête de moine

 

Tête de Moine — Switzerland’s Cheese That Bloomed Into Currency

The conquering dumpling

 🐎 On the Back of the Khan’s Horse: How the Humble Dumpling Conquered the World

There are few things more universal than a dumpling.

Wherever you go — from the frozen plains of Siberia to the taverns of Georgia, from Seoul’s street markets to a trattoria in Liguria — you’ll find some version of a small miracle: a parcel of dough wrapped around warmth, scent, and comfort.

Non-stick Saucepans

I don't really understand non-stick saucepans.

Apart from the non-stick manufacturers wanting to sell products.

People buy non-stick saucepans out of fear. “Ohh I'll get non-stick so I dont have to wrestle food off the pan.” Wrong, and here's why:

I do not need a non-stick saucepan to boil carrots, for example.  If I can't boil carrots without them sticking to a pan, I should just stay out of the kitchen.  I do not want to make mash in a non-stick saucepan because if I scratch it I should replace it.  I would not wish to make roux in a non stick saucepan for the same reason (I like to use a whisk for roux and a plastic whisk is about as useful as a chocolate teapot).  Onion gravy would also be more of a struggle in a non-stick pan as fewer lovely brown bits.

On German cuisine and its dire consequences

German cuisine, with its breads dark and dense as the Teutonic soul, and sausages whose eternal grease still lurks in the arteries of Europe, is no mere culinary tradition. No—it is a force of destruction that broke a continent and stoked the belly of history.

German Sith bread. Slices of evil:

From the sour cabbage that smells of old grudges, to the beer mugs that forever slam on wooden tables as if calling armies to rise—their kitchen becomes the forge of hatred.

Dutch horror show

Because Dutch food is generally bland. It is also traditional Dutch Calvinist mentality that food is meant to be functional not a means of enjoyment. Fun and pleasure of any kind will send you straight to hell. If you don't believe me listen to Dutch people singing.

Let's have a look at some Dutch specialties:

Snert: altough it sounds ( and looks ) like something that just flew out of a nasal cavity this is in fact Dutch pea soup, often enhanced with cheap sausage.

Uitsmijter: bread with ham, cheese and eggs .
 Edible certainly but the fact that it's famous reflects the country's lack of gastronomical creativity. This one seems to have been plated by an artist. Albeit a blind one with Parkinson's.